hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize
