Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
