I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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