at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
