Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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