ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
