so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
