3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
These tits shall not be calmed
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
how does that bad decision feel?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
