happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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