Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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