I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
It's never too late to be topless.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
did i just pee glitter
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
