I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Randomize
