does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
