White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Everclear isn't food dammit
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
