I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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