I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
