Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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