spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
