you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
This is the high leading the old right now
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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