so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize