Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
