Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
