My liver just broke up with me...
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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