I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
