i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Randomize
