every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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