Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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