These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
