she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
