Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
