'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
