i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
