sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
