He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
