You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
