Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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