So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
