sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
