Just cropdusted the office
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
