I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
