I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
