He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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