Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
