life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
