i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
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