the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
