If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
