Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
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