I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
