We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
