Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
