The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
