We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
