Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
