Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
