i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
