the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
