maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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