plz talk dirty to me
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
