Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
