In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Randomize
