Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
